Motherhood, a Murky Path

The one thing I know for sure is that I love my children. Each one of them. Absolutely. I want them to be understood for who they are. I want them to like themselves. I want them to marshal forth in the world without hesitation (yet remembering to say "excuse me, pardon me"). And yet... I cringe when my 18 year-old daughter doesn't wear make-up.

Look, I know, I'm a hypocrite. She should be able to go without make-up and not feel naked, like I do. She should feel self confident about the person she is, not the package her human body holds. She should. And she DOES. But I don't understand it.

It might be a little bit that my biases are at work here. After all she has my small green eyes frame with blonde eyelashes...and they are pretty on her. She has a beautifully chiseled face structure complete with dimples. She has an amazing figure--definitely not from me. But many days she dresses in sloppy sweats and wears no make up and greets the world with a scowl.

Just how does the world perceive her I wonder. Today in particular I wrestled with it. To the point I finally blurted, "You look homeless when you don't wear make-up." I actually got a surprised look from her. Her expression quickly became irritated and then inquisitive as she slowly asked, "You think I look homeless?" "Yes, I know it's wrong, I know I should applaud your confidence for not following the media and having to wear make up, like I feel like I do--but you're also dressed like a slob."

"Fine. I'll put make-up on." And she did. But this is not a victory. It's a twisted, thorny path. She's still confident without make up, I think. But it could seep in and plague her... and if it doesn't, it's certainly a weapon against me. After all it's my JOB to support her, uplift her and celebrate her, right?

And possibly help her understand that whether we like it or not, humans are mammals that group together. They classify each other constantly, consciously and unconsciously; categorizing mercilessly at times--even the highly evolved thinkers. So, maybe, if you're going to dress sloppily... you could add a little mascara??